I have a confession.
It is something that had embarrassed me for years. Oh, heck. Here goes nothing!
I... have...
stretch marks.
There. I said it.
Many women are probably reading this thinking,
um, where's the scandal?
Even though anywhere from 50-90% of
women
report having stretch marks, we seem to be completely ashamed and, for
some reason, repulsed when we see such public displays of honest dermis.
Stretch
marks are not a product of pregnancy alone, and are not a women's-only
issue. However, the standard of impossibility imposed not surprisingly
by men, but far too often by women, has fostered an uncomfortable
self-hate space for beauty. The in-circle judgement of some women upon
others whose bodies do or do not look like their own, is, quite frankly,
disgusting. Whether people are nitpicking the nearest celebrity, or
trash-talking their frenemy, women are the cruelst, most ferocious
peddlers of pain.
I recently stumbled across a tweet
that commented on a picture of a woman's bathroom selfie that rubbed me
the wrong way. Firstly, the picture was a woman, in her underwear,
taking a faceless, backshot selfie. The first thing I thought was,
ohmygoodness she has a great butt.
Yes, I noticed the stretch marks, but, c'mon, her butt was nice! The
response tweet was less than favorable-- something along the lines of
"ew, stretch marks. How unfortunate." Oh wait, the punchline? The tweet
was written by another woman!
Huh? How is this a thing?
Have we not learned, post-elementary, that calling your peers ugly at
recess does not make you magically more pretty? When even Sports
Illustrated
supermodels are confirming their membership to the I-have-real-skin club, from where does this disgust and cruelty arise?
 |
| Jessica White, supermodel (see butt) |
If you have stretch marks, odds are you have looked for ways to
get rid of them.
I've been there. By no stretch of the imagination do I consider mine as
severe as others, but even still I have wished and wondered which
oil/creme/procedure/machine/doctor/prayer/potion will remove them.
Where's my buttery-toned booty?!
After
my desperate, insecure teenage years, I had to sit myself down, and
face what all of the trusty internet sources were telling me all along:
there is no true cure! Nature is nature and I had to come to terms with
what nature meant for me. Haters were just going to have to stay
PRESSED. So, girls, save your coins, because while some salves may help,
odds are you are not going to get what you really want. It is easier--
and cheaper-- to grab some cocoa butter, slap it on daily, eat some
skin-loving foods, and
do you.
 |
| Alex Elle, blogger/poet/mother, alexelle.com |
There is no rational explanation for why
women react so negatively toward other women's physical presentations.
Whether it is "hate", jealousy, mean-spiritedness, or boredom, there is
never a good excuse. So often, us women base our perceptions of beauty
on what we think men want-- that then being the standard from which we
orient our preferences for ourselves and others. We have all heard it
before:
She's not that cute, she's too thin. She might be bad, but
that's because she has on makeup. Ok, her butt is big, but she has
stretch marks though!
Katt Williams
said it best
when he eloquently reassured us women that we have nothing to fear when
it comes to our insecurities. So, do men really hate stretch marks as
much as we think they do? Um, does it matter?
 |
| Melissa Forde, Rihanna's bff (see butt and hips) |
So, when you see me on the beach, wearing
whatever it is I choose to wear, and you catch yourself staring at my
rear, wondering why on earth I would be so bold as to expose my stretch
marks, here are some things to remember:
- Yes, I do have a nice backside. I got it from my mama... don't hate.
- If for some reason you aren't satisfied with the priviledge of
viewing these here buttocks and choose to focus on the slight striae
distensae instead, there is something wrong with you.
- They are a daily reminder to myself that I am a growing,
functioning, healthy human being, who has lived some portion of life and
will continue to do that and more.
Admittedly, it is hard to look in the mirror and see anything
deemed "less-than" by greater society. However, no one lives in your
skin but you. If we women make a collective effort to squash the
scrutiny and save our money, we would all be a little bit happier
residing in our own bodies. In the words of Beyonce, "pretty hurts", so
why don't we learn to except ourselves, flaws and all.
