Stretch Marks and Dollar Bills... Still Got My Money

I have a confession.
It is something that had embarrassed me for years. Oh, heck. Here goes nothing!
I... have... stretch marks.

There. I said it.

Many women are probably reading this thinking, um, where's the scandal?
Even though anywhere from 50-90% of women report having stretch marks, we seem to be completely ashamed and, for some reason, repulsed when we see such public displays of honest dermis.
Stretch marks are not a product of pregnancy alone, and are not a women's-only issue. However, the standard of impossibility imposed not surprisingly by men, but far too often by women, has fostered an uncomfortable self-hate space for beauty. The in-circle judgement of some women upon others whose bodies do or do not look like their own, is, quite frankly, disgusting. Whether people are nitpicking the nearest celebrity, or trash-talking their frenemy, women are the cruelst, most ferocious peddlers of pain.

I recently stumbled across a tweet that commented on a picture of a woman's bathroom selfie that rubbed me the wrong way. Firstly, the picture was a woman, in her underwear, taking a faceless, backshot selfie. The first thing I thought was, ohmygoodness she has a great butt. Yes, I noticed the stretch marks, but, c'mon, her butt was nice! The response tweet was less than favorable-- something along the lines of "ew, stretch marks. How unfortunate." Oh wait, the punchline? The tweet was written by another woman!
Huh? How is this a thing? Have we not learned, post-elementary, that calling your peers ugly at recess does not make you magically more pretty? When even Sports Illustrated supermodels are confirming their membership to the I-have-real-skin club, from where does this disgust and cruelty arise?

Jessica White, supermodel (see butt)

If you have stretch marks, odds are you have looked for ways to get rid of them. I've been there. By no stretch of the imagination do I consider mine as severe as others, but even still I have wished and wondered which oil/creme/procedure/machine/doctor/prayer/potion will remove them.
Where's my buttery-toned booty?!
After my desperate, insecure teenage years, I had to sit myself down, and face what all of the trusty internet sources were telling me all along: there is no true cure! Nature is nature and I had to come to terms with what nature meant for me. Haters were just going to have to stay PRESSED. So, girls, save your coins, because while some salves may help, odds are you are not going to get what you really want. It is easier-- and cheaper-- to grab some cocoa butter, slap it on daily, eat some skin-loving foods, and do you.

Alex Elle, blogger/poet/mother, alexelle.com

There is no rational explanation for why women react so negatively toward other women's physical presentations. Whether it is "hate", jealousy, mean-spiritedness, or boredom, there is never a good excuse. So often, us women base our perceptions of beauty on what we think men want-- that then being the standard from which we orient our preferences for ourselves and others. We have all heard it before: She's not that cute, she's too thin. She might be bad, but that's because she has on makeup. Ok, her butt is big, but she has stretch marks though!
Katt Williams said it best when he eloquently reassured us women that we have nothing to fear when it comes to our insecurities. So, do men really hate stretch marks as much as we think they do? Um, does it matter?

Melissa Forde, Rihanna's bff (see butt and hips)

So, when you see me on the beach, wearing whatever it is I choose to wear, and you catch yourself staring at my rear, wondering why on earth I would be so bold as to expose my stretch marks, here are some things to remember:

1. Yes, I do have a nice backside. I got it from my mama... don't hate.
2. If for some reason you aren't satisfied with the priviledge of viewing these here buttocks and choose to focus on the slight striae distensae instead, there is something wrong with you. 
3. They are a daily reminder to myself that I am a growing, functioning, healthy human being, who has lived some portion of life and will continue to do that and more.

Admittedly, it is hard to look in the mirror and see anything deemed "less-than" by greater society. However, no one lives in your skin but you. If we women make a collective effort to squash the scrutiny and save our money, we would all be a little bit happier residing in our own bodies. In the words of Beyonce, "pretty hurts", so why don't we learn to except ourselves, flaws and all.